Jesse Edwards

Jesse Edwards was my great-grandfather- my mother's father's father.

Jesse had a mother, Edith, a father, Fred, and three or four siblings- Fred, Caroline, Ethel, and probably one other. Fred and Ethel were older than he was, and Caroline was younger.

Grampa was talking about Great-Grampa today. This post is rough and lacks transitions, mainly because these things were not said in this order or even all at once. But here are some of the things Grampa told us:

Jesse was probably 5 when his mother died. He and his sister Caroline probably lived with the Walkers (their mother's parents) for a couple of years after that. Later, they lived with their father, and Jesse, in Grampa's words, "would tend the fires and such, and Caroline would take care of the house, and their father would go off to work."

More of Grampa's words:
"Fred Edwards was a small man, smaller even than my father. He used to wear Caroline's [his daughter's] shoes- he would break them in for her. [Mom and Aunt Gail tell me that my great-great-aunt Caroline wore no bigger than a woman's size six shoe). He would walk to work every day. Someone said once that they remembered lying awake in bed every morning as a child and listening to Fred Edwards singing or whistling on his way to work."
"He (Fred) worked in a hay barn. One day he scraped his back on a rusty nail that was sticking out of the wall, and it became a cancerous [cankerous? It's sometimes difficult to understand Grampa] wound that killed him."

"My father was 14 when Grampa died. My father was probably a fairly wild boy, and Aunt Ethel [married by then] sent a letter after their father died saying that Caroline could come live with her, but she wouldn't take my father.
"Pa was not a terribly forgiving man. He probably never spoke to Ethel again. She would come visit, and he would say 'Get out of my way. You get back in that car right now.'"
I don't know the specifics of this situation. I assume it was when Jess was an adult. I don't know whether it happened once or multiple times. But the whole situation must have been such a heartache for everyone!
Grampa Jesse went to work right after his father died.
Grampa, eyes filling with tears, told us that "Pa's boss said that when Pa was 14 years old, he was a better worker than most men."

Grampa Jesse married Edith Fields, my Grampa's mother. His brother Fred married Edith's sister Elsie, and then Grampa Jesse's sister Caroline married Edith and Elsie's brother Clinton. 
Clint and Jesse worked at the same company- Chandler Mill. Grampa Jesse used to give Clint a ride to work every day. Eventually, Clint got a car of his own- a new one. He then told Jesse "I'll never ride in that old rattle-trap of yours again!" And Grampa Jesse said "You sure won't!" At some later date, Clint came to Grampa Jesse needing a ride. Grampa Jesse gave him one- and a very hard time of it.

Back on the note of Grampa Jesse's hard work: "You know, back when A & P was king, my father had a job where he made five dollars a day. That was really big money to make back then. We used to go to the grocery store, and five dollars would fill the back of the car to overflowing."


Disjointed, but (to me) worth thinking about and posting.

books and yumminess

First of all,
yuck. I do not like the new available templates. In fact, I quite miss my blog a few changes ago... I wish I could get that back.

Aside from that, though, this summer is splendid.
I went to Christian Youth In Action camp June 20th-30th. It was amazing. But I think I will save that for another blog post. I like to think about something like this for a long time before I talk about it. I just like to have time to draw my own conclusions, make my own decisions about the experience and what's going to come from it, before I share a ton about it with other people.

I've been home for a week, and it's been a wonderful one. Working, cooking, knitting, and reading- lots and lots of reading. I've read All Wound Up (I started that one before I left for camp), Lady Susan, and Anansi Boys since I got home. I'm also 70 pages or so into the ubiquitous The Hunger Games. All very different, and I've enjoyed all of them completely. I'm also rather pleased with myself for reading these in one week, because it's been a very long time since I've read even one book in a week.
I think I'm going to read Nineteen Eighty-Four next.

Today has been a long, good, productive day. I got up at 8, walked the dog, went to the library, and went to band practice. I came home and broke the powdered milk canister while making myself a sandwich right before work- Dad kindly helped me clean it up so I would be ready for work on time. I went to work, felt like I was there forever, and came home. I made beans and rice for dinner and it turned out yummy. Then, with a lot of dish-doing and listening to Anansi Boys (I finished it this evening) throughout and in between, I made whoopie pies. Dozens of them (at least 2 dozen. I didn't really count). We're having a potluck after church tomorrow, and one option for dessert is going to be some of the best whoopie pies I've ever had (due not to my cooking abilities, but to the wonderful recipe). So yeah. 
I was in the kitchen for around 4 hours.
It feels like a bit more than 14 hours since I got up.

I could probably go on, but then I'd only degenerate further into babbling than I already have.

knitting, reading, summer, school

You remember the kingdom gloves I posted about a few months back? Well, around the time I posted the pattern I started the gloves. I got through part of the cuff and stuck them in a bag and forgot about them. Monday night, I pulled them out of said bag, ripped out what I'd knit (it was going to be near impossible to find my place in that crazy, 9-page-long pattern), and started over. So far, this is my progress:

Yippee. It's so fun!
Sometime before the end of 2013 I hope to have tackled my two dream knitting projects: a lace shawl (I'm currently looking through the 2,000 + patterns on Ravelry to find the most gorgeous one) and a sweater (I know exactly the one I'm making). 


That and working is pretty much what I've been doing this week. I'm workin' all I can over the next couple of weeks, picking up every hour offered to me, because between June 20th and the end of August, the longest period of time I'll be home and available to work for is 11 or 12 days. I'm taking a total of 5 trips this summer, and I'll also be taking time off from work when Megan and her dear ones come up for a couple weeks.
I'm really looking forward to this crazy summer.
My trips include a camping trip with the church; two camps in Douglas, Mass., for one of which I'll be a camper and the other a counselor- also with/sponsored by the church; a trip to West Virginia to see family (hallelujah chorus, please); and a family vacation at a remote cabin in Vermont.

Shortly after returning from the last trip of the summer, I'll be starting my first ever real college class. See, I've made some decisions regarding school. There's this community college in Porstmouth, Great Bay, which has an amazing two year nursing program. At the end of the program, you're ready to take the test to get your RN- and their students have extremely high rates of success when it comes to passing said test. The only problems are 1. I can't get in this year (I'd hoped to, but I missed the deadline- and I'm not eligible because I'm still technically going to be in high school next year and I can't take my GED/quit being in high school until I'm 18) and 2. It's pretty competitive. Because it's basically the fast track to becoming a nurse, there are 300+ applicants and only 56 spots. So I'm trying to get an edge/lighten the heavy course load that I would have if I did get in by taking a couple of classes that are part the program. They'd count towards my degree if I did get in.
So fall 2012 semester, I'm taking pre-caculus at home, a math class at Great Bay, and a chemistry class at Exeter High School. Although my SAT scores for math were fairly high, I still want to take the test again and bring them up higher because that gives me a better chance of getting into the nursing program in fall 2013. I'm taking the math class at GB first because I figure the more math I do before I retake the SATs, the better I'll do on the test.
So that was a bunch of probably boring and unwanted information on my school plans. But I'm excited about it!

This past week, I finished A Tale of Two Cities. Finally. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, it's just that I haven't had a ton of time to read lately. So I'd been reading it for ten-fifteen minutes at a time on my breaks at work, and it took me a couple months to get through it (I read the last third of the book last Saturday- a lovely rainy day). But I'm done! Two thumbs up. That Dickens guy... He could really write.
So now, as part of my mission to read a greater number of classic books, I'm reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I just started it this morning, and I'm not far in at all. I shall let you know how that goes (maybe. To be honest, I may just space out and not blog again for a couple of months).
By the way, my Nook + Project Gutenberg = awesomeness.

I'm done.

answered prayers.

God's been answering prayers lately.
The other night, I was in bed, trying to go to sleep, sort of singing a praise song in my head, and this idea or image of me sitting with God and singing to Him occurred to me. And my reaction was, "That's ridiculous. Who are you to sing to Him, sit with Him like that?" I just felt so unworthy- being in His presence, in His perfect light, would expose so much ugliness in me that there's no way I could be relaxed and happy and peaceful and pure sitting with Him like that. But I remembered my peace in the knowledge that Jesus has cleansed me and God has adopted me. Jesus loves me as much as God loves Jesus? Of course He will forgive me. One day, He will cleanse me and take me into the presence of God the Father, and I will be loved and accepted as a child. I can hardly imagine. Remembering these things makes me so glad.
I began to pray that God would wash me clean. That I could start the next day freshly, purely, seeking Him. And I would make mistakes, obviously, but I prayed that He would help me see when I made a mistake and correct it.
Then I realized that I've been praying that for a month or so now, and it's been happening.
God has shown me some major problems in my life. Honestly? I am a self-centered, prideful, stiff-necked and foolish girl. I just keep seeing traits in myself that I want to make disappear. And I can't. But God can. I've been asking for help to change these things. I can't say that I've really felt all the change I wanted yet, but I feel like I'm going in the right direction.

This post is disorganized. But I'm trying to be honest here and I'm afraid if I try to make it flow better it won't be as real. Maybe that doesn't make any sense. I definitely need to go to bed, at any rate. But yeah.

God has an overwhelming love for me, and He is going to make me beautiful one day.

P.S.: Pray that I would know what to do with this love. 

joy dare 53

Day 53: A gift of tin, of glass, of wood. 

A gift of tin: I can't say that I encounter much tin, so let's go with metal. Mom's Kitchenaid. Having a fantastic stand-up mixer has made making bread and many other things over the course of my life so much easier.

Of glass: Picture frames. But more what they hold: pictures that make me remember people and places.

Of wood: Bookcases! They're wonderful, aren't they? Someday maybe I'll get one that's made out of real wood, instead of particle board, too. ;) 

joy dare 52

Day 42: 3 gifts that changed today.

1. My new haircut! I like it. Other people do too. I've been getting comments on it all day.

2. Bible study. 

3. Lent. I've decided to give up TV for Lent.

joy dare fifty and fifty-one

Day 50: A gift at breakfast, lunch, dinner.

A gift at breakfast: The bad news was: I slept in. The good news: I woke up fully within ten minutes. So good! And the extra sleeping didn't even throw off my day too much. I just kept going and did good. 

A gift at lunch: 100% on a geometry lesson. Good feeling, that :) 

A gift at dinner: Farm fresh eggs. Grampa has a friend who has a farm, and sometimes Gramp gives us the fresh eggs. They're so much better than the supermarket variety! If you've never had one, you need to find a way to try one. 

Day 51: 3 gifts white.

1. My curtains. It's silly, but I love them. They're sheer and beautiful and make my room brighter.

2. Daisies! They're so pretty. So bright and happy.

3. My favorite sundress.